Simple Thoughts from a Canine Mind

Spring Has Sprung

2006-04-17T22:37:00.000+01:00

Woof !!!

Au Revoir England ....

2006-01-06T09:42:00.000Z

.... Obi's off to France - Paris to be precise.

Thanks to my newly gained doggie passport (thankyou DEFRA) I am off to sample the canine delights of the culinary capital of the world for a long weekend break. No longer Winalot and scraps for me - "Mon Bon Chien" beckons (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4578188.stm)

I've always admired the French - no really I have !! And this is just the icing on the Bonio as far as I'm concerned.

So wish me Bon Voyage ... I'll send all my readers a postcard (that's you Wislon !!)

Ooo-La-La Obi xxx

P.S. If you bump in to Alter Ego please don't tell her - she thinks I'm going for a sleepover with Laddy the Labrador next door and I've had to raid her on-line bank account to pay for the trip ...... on the internet no one knows you're a dog !!!

Border Collie Safari

2005-12-18T16:53:00.000Z

A wealthy old lady called Alter Ego decides to go on a safari to Africa, taking with her, her faithful, if a little, aged Collie named Obi, along for the company.

One day Obi starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old Collie thinks, "Oh, oh, I'm in deep shit now"! Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard isabout to leap, the old dog exclaims loudly, "Boy,that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there areany more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew! says the leopard, that was close! That old Collie nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old Collie sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures correcty that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

Now, the old Collie sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the old dog sits down with his back to his would be attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet. Just when they get close enough to hear, the old Collie says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

Moral of this story. Don't mess with old farts ..... age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience!

If you don't send this to five old friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.

Obi xxx

Squirrels are Bad For Your Engine ......

2005-11-08T22:26:00.000Z

Well don't say I haven't warned you about squirrels in the past ..... if you are still to be convinced follow this link to hard evidence of their destructive powers.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/4416288.stm#

Pandemic Response

2005-11-08T22:07:00.000Z

Last One for Tonight

2005-10-31T21:45:00.000Z

A ducks walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?"

Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes. The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell: ''Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!''

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, ''Got any nails?''

Confused, the bartender says no.

''Good!'' says the duck. ''Got any grapes?''

Just for Wislon

2005-10-31T20:59:00.000Z

Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably....

Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip? To get to the other ... er, um .......

What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of a mountain? A high-pot-in-use

What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause

54 Days to Go

2005-10-31T20:37:00.000Z

... and this is certainly top of my Christmas list :

https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0975263110/qid=1130790616/026-3209296-8904449

It'll make a change from the the usual bonio and squeaky toy (how unoriginal !!)

A Little Fishy Tail

2005-10-26T20:07:00.000+01:00

Although I have been somewhat quiet of late, I did not fail to notice my new found friends recent obsession with fish ..... so just for Wislon ........

---------------------------

One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah my old friend, I want you to make me a new Ark."
Noah replies, "No problem God, me old supreme being, anything you want after all you're the boss!"
But God interrupts, "Ah but there's a catch this time Noah, I want not just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the other."
"20 DECKS!" exclaims Noah, "Well, ok, whatever you say, should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"
"Yep, that's right, well ... sort of right. This time I just want you to fill it up with fish." God answers.
"Fish?" queries Noah.
"Yep, fish. Well, actually I'll make it more specific Noah, I want Carp, wall to wall, floor to ceiling, Carp!"
Noah looks to the skies, "OK God, let me get this right. You want a new Ark?"
"Check."
"With 20 decks, one on top of the other?"
"Check."
"And you want it full of Carp?"
"Check"
"Just one thing, why?" asked Noah.
"No special reason." says God, "I just always fancied a Multi-Story Carp Ark!"

Maybe Boris had a Point

2005-10-26T19:58:00.000+01:00

OK I admit it I am embarrassed about my alter ego's Scouse heritage ... Particularly when you read something like this !!!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/merseyside/4372230.stm

Is it just me, or is there something a little creepy about people laying flowers, messages, teddy bears and candles for people (or poultry) they don't know ???

Thought for the Day

2005-10-12T20:15:00.000+01:00

When you are in deep trouble do not say anything

WOOF WOOF

Not bad for a dog !!!!

2005-08-25T16:32:00.000+01:00

Your IQ Is 110

Your Logical Intelligence is Above Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional
Your General Knowledge is Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

How'd you do ????

Just Call me "Jing"

2005-08-25T10:16:00.000+01:00

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,3-1747947,00.html

Personally I think they should have been proud to bear the noble name Dog ... I know I am !!!

Anyone heading across the pond ???

2005-08-19T18:17:00.000+01:00

Well if you are, you'd make the Obi Dog a very happy pup if you bought him back a tub of doggie ice cream !!!

http://www.newsday.com/business/ny-bzdog194389343aug19,0,4178022.story?coll=ny-business-headlines

I've always said the Americans really know how to look after their pooches !!

A Little Obi Humour .....

2005-08-13T15:46:00.000+01:00

This tickled my fancy :

A Man starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. First is toclear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this, a huge fish jumps outand bites him. To show the others who is boss he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, since lions will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Monkey house, he is attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. Again he swipes at two chimps with his spade, killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says tohimself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.

He moves on to the last job, which is to collect honey from the SouthAmerican Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. Again, he grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them in with the lions.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says, "What's the food like here?" .............................................................

And the old lion says ... "Absolutely brilliant. Today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees."

SO What's Your Cyborg Name ??

2005-08-13T09:28:00.000+01:00

http://www.cyborgname.com/

I'm apparently an :

Obedient
Biomechanical
Infiltration and
Troubleshooting
Humanoid
Electronic
Device
Optimized for
Gratification

.... apart from the human reference, I think this a fairly good description.

I am however worried about my alter ego !!

Goldie & Cavy make a nice pair though ;-))

And some stories just need sharing

2005-08-10T23:05:00.000+01:00

The Gloucestershire Echo just very occassionally come up trumps .... I love this one !!

http://www.thisisgloucestershire.co.uk/displayNode.jsp?nodeId=139760&command=displayContent&sourceNode=139586&contentPK=12982844

Corny Headline of the Week

2005-08-10T22:46:00.000+01:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cumbria/4135306.stm

.... and before you ask, it was NOT me !!! I'm a very law abiding Obi and I am offended that you might think such a thing :-[

Dogs in Space

2005-08-09T22:25:00.000+01:00

"The more time passes, the more I'm sorry....We shouldn't have done it....We did not learn enough from the mission to justify the death of the dog"

... a quote from one of the former lead scientists who had worked on the Soviet "animals-in-space" program expressing deep regrets regarding the fate of Laika - the first dog in space. See :

http://www.spacetoday.org/Astronauts/Animals/Dogs.html#OtherAnimals

The successful return to earth of space shuttle Discovery got me thinking about all those animals that were sacrificed to help extend man's knowledge of life in space. I know in the great scheme of things it probably seems small change to many, but I'd like to think that the crew of the shuttle said a quiet thankyou to Laika and her "colleagues" .... and when they were mentally preparing themselves for what must be the fairly scary experience of plummeting back to earth from space at scary speeds and even scarier temperatures, they spared a few thoughts for a three year old stray dog who died a very lonely and quite possibly terrifying death a whole other world away from the streets of Moscow where she was born.

And on the off chance Cavy passes by ... take a look at who accompanied the dog Chernushka on Sputnik 9 !!!!

SNUPPY

2005-08-03T21:44:00.000+01:00

So .... lets look at this news item !!

The Koreans have cloned a dog because "The dog has characteristics similar to human beings" and "Some of their diseases are almost the same as human diseases" and why is this of interest to the HUMAN scientists ............ well the logical answer, you might think, is beacause this will allow advances in human medicine to help dogs (i.e. man's best friend) BUT as ususal in this humancentric world the answer is "So [dog clones] could be very valuable in finding technologies useful for curing human diseases. This is our main research call."

So dogs are cloned so humans can benefit ..... it makes me woofing mad !!!

Although I do secretly like the idea of immortality .... and maybe Goldie might like a little Obi clone ;-)

And now for an anti-cat joke !!!

2005-07-27T14:05:00.000+01:00

One day, a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven, where he meets Saint Peter. Saint Peter says to the cat, "You lived a good life, and if there is any way I can make your stay in heaven more comfortable, please let me know." The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Peter, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor." Saint Peter stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful, fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident, and all of them go to heaven. Again, Saint Peter is there to greet them with the same offer. The mice answer, "All our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so that we don't have to run anymore?" Saint Peter says, "Say no more" and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.

About a week later, Saint Peter stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing contentedly on the pillow. Saint Peter gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you got here?" The cat stretches and yawns, then replies, "It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"

And Another .....

2005-07-27T13:08:00.000+01:00

.... it's not too late Goldie ... dump the Cavy and get a dog .... and here's why !!!

here's just a few reasons why Goldie should get a dog rather than live with Cavy ....

Spots are an attractive feature on a dog (particularly true of the rather cute dalmation down the road)
A dog is better protection from intruders
Dogs enjoy ball games. But they don't spend six hours on the phone trying to get tickets for France 98 (okay doesn't strictly apply to Cavy - but have you met his mother !!!???!!!)
Dogs greet each other by sniffing bottoms. Men are far less polite
Puppy love doesn't wear off so quickly with a dog
You can be prosecuted for neglecting a dog
Dogs can find their way back home - even after a really heavy night out (Cavy has difficulties even when he's sober !!)
Dogs can be trained not to lie on the bed. Men always lie in bed
A dog can moult without becoming obsessed about premature baldness.
Dogs can be taught the meaning of the word "NO!"
A dog is far less irritation to have in the back seat of a car...
...and will be less likely to show its rear end to the people in the vehicle behind for a laugh.
Elizabeth Hurley has a faithful dog whom she loves dearly
If a dog says sausages, that's clever. If a man says sausages, that's just greedy
Dogs will wait patiently outside clothes shops...
...and not criticize your purchases afterwards.
A dog will fetch the morning paper for you
A dog will trot faithfully round at your hee.
Dogs don't break wind in public and blame it on the man
In the canine world, boxers are quite intelligent
If a dog gets ill, it won't take eighteen Panadols in order to avoid having to go to the vet (okay - that might not be true of me - BUT have you ever met by vet ??)
You can also ask the vet to perform the snip, even if the dog objects
Small, ginger-haired dogs can be quite appealing. As for men? Two words. Robin Cook.
You can find a nice dog by advertising on a card in a shop window, or in the classified section of the local paper
A woman can live with more than one dog, without rumours starting
When dogs beg, it's cute. When men beg it's pathetic (no Cavy - it REALLY is)
Dogs sometimes dig the garden
A dog can go out fox-hunting without being incredibly stuck up and pompous
Dogs don't necessarily prefer blondes
Dogs won't get embarrassed if you call them by a pet name when their friends are around
Dogs travel more cheaply on the bus
Dogs whine less
Some dogs can be quite talented at singing
Men lost the World Cup. A dog found it
Dogs are less reliant on tinned food...
...but after a few cans, a dog will still be able to stand up
And there are some things even a dog won't eat - like the remains of a three-day-old King Prawn vindaloo that they found on the floor behind the sofa
You can leave a dog alone in your house without worrying so much about what it'll break
A dog gets a new coat every winter
Dogs are not so careless about leaving puddles on the bathroom floor
A dog is less likely to leave a filthy, stinking mess for you to clear up
For a dog, a wet nose is a sign of GOOD health
Men are even less useful for testing cosmetics on
Dogs don't wolf-whistle
There are still thousands of totally undomesticated dogs in Australia; but far more undomesticated men
Your dog will never refer to you as 'a bitch'
In disaster films, the dog is always far more likely to have a miraculous escape
Dogs do not waste money betting on the dogs
You can stop dogs getting too randy by throwing a bucket or water over them
All the best clips on 'You've Been Framed' are the ones with dogs in
If a dog starts worrying sheep, that's just its natural predatory instinct
If a MAN starts worrying sheep, however...
A 'King Charles' is much more likely to be a big, floppy-eared dog than a big floppy-eared man
You can also call a dog schitzu without offending it
"Working like a dog" is strenuous. Working like a man is, er - not
You can fondle your dog in the park without being arrested
A dog will encourage you to lose weight by taking more exercise. A man will just remark on how big your bum looks
Dogs do not attack other dogs for being a different colour
Having a dog around the place can actually ease stress
You'd feel guilty about turning a dog out on the street
A dog can take a barrel of brandy to a lost mountaineer without drinking ANY
There aren't so many good reasons to keep a dog muzzled in public
You can buy a dog's affection with a squeaky toy
A dog will be eager to walk, rather than getting a taxi
Most dogs are really good with children
Dogs have a highly-developed sense of smell. Men, on the other hand, can quite happily wear the same pair of pants for a fortnight
A dog is more useful for tracking down criminals
Who did YOU miss most from Blue Peter - John Noakes or Shep?
A dog might actually take a bath of its own accord
There's more chance of your dog being able to operate the video recorder
You can buy a choke-chain for a dog
A 16-year-old dog is very mature
A dog is easier to keep well-groomed
Dogs have more chance of receiving an award for bravery
Dogs are easier to house-train
Dog do not scratch themselves so much in polite company
A dog can look as though it understands what you're saying
Dogs went into space first
A man will roll over and play dead only if you ask him to get up and make coffee
Dogs enjoy swimming, and not for the chance to ogle girls in bikinis
Being a dog's mistress is no reason to feel ashamed
You can keep your dog tied up if it starts misbehaving
Saggy skin and a hang-dog look aren't half as appealing on a man
You can train a dog in obedience
A dog in a studded collar isn't kinky
Few men would answer to 'Lassie'
A dog is a pack animal. A man is a six-pack animal - a Cavy is a hmmmmmmm
Dogs spend the day sniffing drugs only if they're with the police

Well - it's been a long time since I last posted ....

2005-07-27T12:57:00.000+01:00

... I ate the bosses slipper and my punishment was loss of internet priviledges !!

Anyway ... it sounds from the comments below that Goldie is in need of a little doggy humour, so just for you Goldie.

In a recent survey of dogs the following answers were given to the question "How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb" :

Border Collie: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to current building regulations .

Golden Retriever : The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?

Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp!

Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me!

Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . . .

Labrador: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?

Malamute: Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got a hangover.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there...

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?

If You Can't Trust An Archbishop .....

2005-06-05T20:17:00.000+01:00

.... then who can you trust ??

In his last will and testament, the late Pope John Paul II requested that : "My personal notes are to be burned. I ask that Don Stanislaw oversees this, and thank him for the collaboration and help so prolonged over the years, and so comprehensive."

From an historical perspective, it seems an unusual last request, but his last request it was and you'd expect that it was something that a man of god would respect.

However, Stanislaw Dziwisz has revealed that he has not carried out the former pontiff's request, saying that the papers were a great treasure and should be "saved and preserved for posterity". He even talks about publishing them ......

.... so it seems that nothing is sacred anymore, even the dying wishes of a Pope !!

I'm glad I've not named the local priest as the executor of my last will and testament ..... I'd hate to think that my squeaky dragon was not buried alongside me ;-)

What - You Must Be Joking.

2005-06-04T23:01:00.000+01:00

Steven Spielberg has been voted the greatest director of all time by readers of Empire Magazine. The Top 10 goes :

1. Steven Spielberg
2. Alfred Hitchcock
3. Martin Scorsese
4. Stanley Kubrick
5. Sir Ridley Scott
6. Akira Kurosawa
7. Peter Jackson
8. Quentin Tarantino
9. Orson Welles
10. Woody Allen

Now granted, Spielberg may be the most financially successful director of all time, and he has been in charge of some of the most successful box office hits - but Greatest director of all time ..... never !! Don't get me wrong here, I've sniffled along to ET, jumped in Jaws and cheered Indi along with the best of them, but none of this qualifies him for the accolade.

It's a strange list altogether, which says more about the demographics of Empire readers ... Ridley Scott at number 5 (Gladiator fans vote), Tarantino at 8 (Kill Bill fans vote) and don't get me started on Peter Jackson (one Trilogy doesn't make a great director). Where are Jean Renoir, Fellini, Bergman, John Ford, Eisenstein, Fritz Lang, John Huston, Truffaut, Frank Capra, George Cukor etc etc ...

Off for a lie down and a Good Movie !!!

I've Always Wanted a Pet of My Own

2005-06-04T19:35:00.000+01:00

.... and now I have one. Everyone, meet Barnaby !!

I Read the News Today .....

2005-06-03T19:06:00.000+01:00

.... oh no !!!

I swam in this "lake" as a puppy .....

http://www.thisisgloucestershire.co.uk/displayNode.jsp?nodeId=139571&command=displayContent&sourceNode=139301&contentPK=12573558

..... I could be the next "Krypto" !!

I Prefer the Guardian Crossword ....

2005-06-03T17:22:00.000+01:00

..... so I was just thinking this afternoon ... why do human's enjoy standing in the middle of fields throwning balls quite so much ???

There I was enjoying a rather interesting documentary on the National Geographic Channel when the "family" came home from work early .... next thing I know I'm dragged off for a walk in the rain!! Now - I don't mind the walk, but I really don't understand why they enjoy throwing a ball in random directions quite so much. I, of course, have to chase after the ball and bring it back (otherwise they'd lose it in the long grass) and this, in particular, seems to induce much delight in them.

Ah well .... who am I to question the simple pleasures of humans .... although, as the title of this post suggests, I much prefer to curl up with a good crossword myself !!!

Squirrels .......

2005-05-26T21:22:00.000+01:00

....... so what use are they anyway ???

The Four Word Film Review

2005-05-25T23:39:00.000+01:00

This has been keeping me amused for the last few days ....

http://www.fwfr.com/

A few of my favourites ....... can you guess the films ???

"Salieri has pianist envy"
"Coppola 'mericans in Japan"
"Big ship sinks ...... sloooooooooowly"
"Eat ship and die"

They Felt The Force ...........

2005-05-24T21:41:00.000+01:00

...... but probably not as they were expecting it !!!

How stupid can humans get .... I read the opening paragraph of this expecting it to be a rather sad story about a couple of 8 year olds messing around in the garage !!
But no ..... 20 and 17

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/beds/bucks/herts/4575291.stm

20 and 17 - what on earth were they thinking (or was the problem that they weren't thinking ??)

Humans Mess Up - Dogs Suffer (Again !!)

2005-05-22T09:15:00.000+01:00

It seems that a team of Australian Sniffer Dogs have been sent back to school for retraining as a result of human error. Those stupid humans apparantly trained the dogs to sniff out talcum powder rather than cocaine.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/4568321.stm

Lets look at the case in detail ..... who was responsible for the stupid mistake ?? That's right, the humans !! Who have to give up another 6 months of their lives to go back to school ?? Right again .... the dogs. Fair ??? I think not !!

Thought For The Day

2005-05-15T08:24:00.000+01:00

I've been trying to do a bit of family history research on line - I thought it might help me undrestand why, occassionally, I feel an overwelming desire to stand in the garden howling at the moon .... it must be in my genes somewhere. Anyway, I've just discovered something interesting .....

The dog never gets listed on the census questionnaires as "head of the household" - why should this be, when it is so evidently true ??? Any census experts care to shed some light ??

The Law Isn't Such An Ass !!!

2005-05-11T22:01:00.000+01:00

I was reading in the Guardian on-line that councillors in Blackpool have just ruled that the famous Blackpool donkeys are to have a mandatory hour lunch break.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/animalrights/story/0,11917,1481538,00.html

This is excellent news !! Now a precedent has been set I'll be starting my own campaign for mandatory lunchbreaks, afternoon teabreaks, ordinary teabreaks, elevenses breaks, supper breaks, fag breaks (although I don't actually smoke). The `family' (I like that, it makes me sound like Phil Mitchell) have been taking me for granted for far too long .... afterall, I do guard the house ALL day EVERY day (and I only occassionally hide behind the sofa when there's a noise).

Anyone want to sign my petition ???

Haiku for Dogs

2005-05-09T23:06:00.000+01:00

I've recently discovered the art of Japanese Haiku. What a joy !! I've always loved poetry but seldom manage to get through a whole poem (opposable thumbs, lack thereof, make turning the pages of anthologies rather difficult - and some of the greatpoets really do go on a bit). Haiku allows me to read several poems on a single page .... excellent stuff. Here's one about dogs :

Belly-up I lie
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.

Do I ever know that feeling - best in the world !

Never Mind the NHS ......

2005-05-08T21:40:00.000+01:00

I read today in the Times that during their annual conference in London, Junior Doctors approved a motion calling on the British Medical Association (BMA) to ask Jamie Oliver for help in improving the quality of meals in hospitals.

Very laudable - but what about Dog Food? Why do we never see `The Good Dog Food Show', `Master Dog Food Chef', `Jamies Dog Food Dinners' ..... hey .... you can't answer that can you ??

Maybe I'll start a campaign - but I really need a launch pad. Crufts would probably be ideal, but I've neve been invitied being non-pedigree ......... and don't get me started on that !!!

Good night.

My First Posting

2005-05-07T22:53:00.000+01:00

For a long time I have felt that my thoughts and opinions are being overlooked by those around me, who, by the way CLAIM they love me and say I am just like a member of the family -- and all because I am a dog.

Well let me tell you, dogs have thoughts and ideas too. We have views on politics, religion, society and dog food - many, many of them; although, because we have generally short memories we tend to forget them easily. Given that I am on my own for the best part of the day whilst my `family' are at work, all I really have to entertain myself (apart from a squeaky dinosaur) are my thoughts ... and I have now pledged myself to comit some of them to writing and share with you, the world some Simple Thoughts from a Canine Mind.

Obi

P.S. Lack of opposable thumbs (more ofthese later) makes typing a little difficult - so please excuse any errors I may make.