Monday, April 17, 2006
Spring Has Sprung
Woof !!!
Friday, January 06, 2006
Au Revoir England ....
.... Obi's off to France - Paris to be precise.
Thanks to my newly gained doggie passport (thankyou DEFRA) I am off to sample the canine delights of the culinary capital of the world for a long weekend break. No longer Winalot and scraps for me - "Mon Bon Chien" beckons (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4578188.stm)
I've always admired the French - no really I have !! And this is just the icing on the Bonio as far as I'm concerned.
So wish me Bon Voyage ... I'll send all my readers a postcard (that's you Wislon !!)
Ooo-La-La Obi xxx
P.S. If you bump in to Alter Ego please don't tell her - she thinks I'm going for a sleepover with Laddy the Labrador next door and I've had to raid her on-line bank account to pay for the trip ...... on the internet no one knows you're a dog !!!
Thanks to my newly gained doggie passport (thankyou DEFRA) I am off to sample the canine delights of the culinary capital of the world for a long weekend break. No longer Winalot and scraps for me - "Mon Bon Chien" beckons (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4578188.stm)
I've always admired the French - no really I have !! And this is just the icing on the Bonio as far as I'm concerned.
So wish me Bon Voyage ... I'll send all my readers a postcard (that's you Wislon !!)
Ooo-La-La Obi xxx
P.S. If you bump in to Alter Ego please don't tell her - she thinks I'm going for a sleepover with Laddy the Labrador next door and I've had to raid her on-line bank account to pay for the trip ...... on the internet no one knows you're a dog !!!
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Border Collie Safari
A wealthy old lady called Alter Ego decides to go on a safari to Africa, taking with her, her faithful, if a little, aged Collie named Obi, along for the company.
One day Obi starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old Collie thinks, "Oh, oh, I'm in deep shit now"! Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard isabout to leap, the old dog exclaims loudly, "Boy,that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there areany more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew! says the leopard, that was close! That old Collie nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old Collie sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures correcty that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old Collie sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the old dog sits down with his back to his would be attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet. Just when they get close enough to hear, the old Collie says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
Moral of this story. Don't mess with old farts ..... age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience!
If you don't send this to five old friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.
Obi xxx
One day Obi starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old Collie thinks, "Oh, oh, I'm in deep shit now"! Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard isabout to leap, the old dog exclaims loudly, "Boy,that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there areany more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew! says the leopard, that was close! That old Collie nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old Collie sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures correcty that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old Collie sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the old dog sits down with his back to his would be attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet. Just when they get close enough to hear, the old Collie says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
Moral of this story. Don't mess with old farts ..... age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience!
If you don't send this to five old friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.
Obi xxx
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Squirrels are Bad For Your Engine ......
Well don't say I haven't warned you about squirrels in the past ..... if you are still to be convinced follow this link to hard evidence of their destructive powers.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/4416288.stm#
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/4416288.stm#
Pandemic Response
Monday, October 31, 2005
Last One for Tonight
A ducks walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"
The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?"
Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes. The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell: ''Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!''
The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, ''Got any nails?''
Confused, the bartender says no.
''Good!'' says the duck. ''Got any grapes?''
The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?"
Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes. The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell: ''Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!''
The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, ''Got any nails?''
Confused, the bartender says no.
''Good!'' says the duck. ''Got any grapes?''
Just for Wislon
Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably....
Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip? To get to the other ... er, um .......
What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of a mountain? A high-pot-in-use
What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause
